Grace, Peace and Love to All! I have recently been led to the Kolbrin, Kailidy and the Culdian Trust. Wow! I would like to share some of the experiences I have had which have shaped and guided me to this point. I am 55, cowgirl,pharmacist, musician, artist and seamstress. I came to know God at 24
I loved the message but have felt there is more. A few experiences in life let me know there is more.
At 26, my husband , I and our two young children were traveling home thru the oregon mountains. Our truck and trailer were heavily loaded with fire wood. We were climbing the last steep grade before the long downhill to the river. As we gained the summit , my gaze went from the side to ahead, where I saw a young man sitting on the hood. He wore clean but ragged linen clothing, his hair was long and had brown eyes. He looked me directly in the eye. He was Love. I turned to my husband who saw the shock on my face, I asked if he saw this, when I turned back he was gone. It was at this point my husband stepped on the breaks. There were no brakes. There was just enough grade to stop us. We stepped out of the truck, the entire hub and part of the rim was white hot. Nothing was holding the wheel on. We hit our knees and thanks God for his Mercy and Grace.
At some point I hit a dead end with the Bible, faith and the church. I tried to be a normal person and fit in. It never felt right.
2009, I married Zane, a fellow pharmacist and friend. He led be back to God and I am greatful for this. We bought a ranch in 2010, my beloved elder sister Liesa and her daughter moved up from California to work the ranch with us. It was our dream.
3/4/2012 I was baptized. Liesa was there and rejoiced with me. I can not express the ultimate magic of the next two weeks. We threw our backs into our labor, we laughed, we cried, we loved.
3/24/12. Friday evening cocktails. Hysterical ! Liesa, Zane and I laughed until we cried. We held our bellies in pain as we rolled in laughter. Beautiful.
3/25/12. Woke up anxious, not knowing why. About 2:00 received a text from Sister, gene an x boyfriend of 3years showed up, he was armed with two pistols. Sis said she had taken the guns away from him and asked if we would not let her daughter go up to the house. Our driveway is 1/4 mile long. Also the distance between the homes. I drove my quad up to her house. Sis had unloaded the guns. Gene was sitting on the couch. I HATED THIS MAN! But is walked to him, got on my knees before him and told him he was loved. This was not of my own doing. I stood told Sis I loved her, we embraced and I went back down to the ranch. I began to feel separated , wrapped in cotton, held or bound. I paced the house staring out the window looking towards Sisters. 3:24. I see Tinker Bell (Sisters constant companion mini Jack Russell who NEVER left her side) running as fast as she can towards my house. She abruptly stopped, looked towards her home, then ran in terror into my arms. We knew it was bad. I knew it was bad and God wrapped me tighter. I felt as if I could not move. Zane and I drove the truck up, as we pulled up to the house I got out and went thru the front door. I saw gene, dead, face down on the couch, rifle beside him.
I do not share this easily. It is painful and not to be trivialized. I do not share this for sympathy, I don’t want it. It is the experience that is important. Why I did not see Sis is beyond me, she was right in front of me. I called for her, then I saw her. Gene had “left”, only to return with the 308. He shot her from 2 feet. There were pieces all over the kitchen, and Sis, dead in a pool of blood. There was so much blood. When I saw Sis, God bound me hard and fast he pulled me from my human, I could see myself kneeling beside Sis in disbelief and terror. I have no other explanation. A voice BOOMED, COMMANDED ME, “DO NOT BE AFRAID”. I heard my Sisters voice telling me "don’t cry Sis, it’s ok, look! I’m good. Then came the knowledge. Like the dropping of a curtain, I instantly understood EVERYTHING ! The murder, why Sis was gone , why things are the way they are. You can not imagine that feeling. It saved my life. God then released me back to my human. It was aweful.
I do not remember much of the following six months. The physical pain, the emotional terror and sadness were overwhelming. I wanted to die, but knew I would not and knew why, but could not explain or rationalize it. Life returned, but has never been the same. I began my journey, unaware it was my journey.
Almost a year later, myself, our ranch Forman Mike and my Barn Manager Lisa were headed to Arizona for a national competion. Being from Oregon, we drive thru Nevada. We were just out of Hawthorn NV, Lisa was reclined in the back seat of the truck, when she darn near jumped into the front seat yelling "what the F… If that, pointing to the sky. There they were, way up in the atmosphere, a cluster of 20 or 30 white dots moving oddly. One would zip out of the cluster and two would zip into it. We watched for a good amount of time. Further down the road we began to see in the foothills, brilliant red/orange/yellow lights. They would flick on then off. It was about 11:30pm. We dieseled up in Tonapah. 20 minutes out of Tonapah, Lisa again, poor girl, hysterical, screaming “WHAT THE F…IS THAT” ! I was driving 75mph in a 50’ truck and trailer with three horses in the back. A craft, not more the 100 feet away, paced us, not 10 feet off the ground. No noise. There were three round lights, the pretty lights, facing us. The lights began to pulse randomly, the craft shot straight up in the air at incredible speed and vanished. To say the least we were stunned. I felt no malice. I do not understand the significance of this.
That November, I had two consecutive dreams. I had gone to bed, was sleeping soundly, but I woke to a brilliant light shinning outside. So brilliant it lit my bedroom which has heavy louvered wood blinds. Where I woke and normally would have gone to investigate, I was suddenly asleep, only to wake in a “dream”. I knew it was not a dream tho. It was classic. There was a path, but fog all around. I looked ahead and saw a crossroad in the path. There was a bench, beautiful flowers and grass. There was an old man leaning on a gnarled staff with a burl on the end. He wore robes that were clean, yet slightly tattered. He had long silver hair, beard and mustash. His eyes were blue. He was Love. I knew Him, somewhere. He asked me if I knew my name. I was embarrassed because I knew my answer was wrong, but I spoke the name I knew. “Karen” I spoke, but sheepishly, I knew it was wrong. He laughed, softly and lovingly. He held His hand out, palm down, I put my hand up, palm up. He dropped a white stone into my hand and said my name. My name was engraved on the white stone. When He said my name, I REMEMBERED EVERYTHING! My name, what I was supposed to be doing, all the whys were immediatly clear and understood. I cried to Him, “why can’t I remember who I am”. He smiled and said "it’s ok (insert my real name). The dream faded. I woke with absolute clarity about what had happened. I knew He had given me my name. It was the same clarity I had when God bound me when Liesa was murdered.
The next night, I woke to my dream again. Same place, this time I knew immediatly where I was, and knew I had forgotten again. When I saw Him again, I was frustrated and cried out to him “why can’t I remember my name, why can’t I remember who I am”. He spoke my name, I remembered again. He said “It’s not time” the dream faded. Again I woke with clarity, knowing that I have another name, my true name, knowing there was more. Knowing this life is largely a lie.
I have been shown, now I seek.
This is what I know to be true. From birth, we are educated. We are taught how to talk, when to talk, when not to talk, what to say what not to say, how to act in society, how to act in love, what to look like , what not to look like, to believe in God or not to believe in God. Now add the next layer, education. Here we are taught how to think, how not to think, what to think about and what not to think about, what to study and what is taboo to study. Add the next layer, mass manipulation to serve the needs of the few elite.
Who are we, really? For myself, I am that person I remember in His presence. This has been my drive, I want to go home.
This has been my state for about two years. Knowing but not knowing how to get there. Two weeks ago I saw the Kolbrin Bible on Facebook. That posting is another divine tale! Len, as you said, I dove into the Kolbrin (printed 240 pages at work, whoops), only to stop dead and find the Culdian Trust. Well done Len. In the last two weeks, I have read half the Kolbrin , Elidor and maybe two pages of the Kailidy. My life has changed. I understand and will understand more as the years pass
I am greatful to you of the Culdian Trust who have preserved the Truth so we can find our way home again.